What’s in a name? Visual AmBIGuity

In college I started to notice that I was referred to as the big girl in my group of insanely attractive and skinny friends, and the more that I thought about it… big girl had probably been my moniker since grade school. Interestingly enough, NO ONE (and I mean absolutely no one) had ever asked me how I felt about being called big—they just said it…rude, right? I mean I’d never just introduce someone named Robert as Bobby unless I was given permission. Yet a million+1 times  I’d overhear things like “you know Jessica… the big girl...” or “Jessica.. the big girl we’re always with..” It was as though my ONLY memorable trait was my size, and because I did (and still do) take up substantially more space than an average woman, it made sense -___- I guess I have just learned to accept it. People notice me because I AM big—I mean I stand at 6’ tall—but that doesn’t mean it feels nice and from this hurt (or pure embarrassment), I have never healed. I can now accept being called big, but let’s get this straight…this label—big—has been used throughout my life to bring me shame, and I have yet to reclaim its power. This blog is my way of healing, and will be used to showcase my beauty, a type of beauty that is often overlooked but is beautiful nonetheless.


I am starting this blog for many reasons: many plus size fashion bloggers have inspired me, and quite frankly I want to be a part of the whole body positive movement!  Women of size are being recognized for their ambition, style, talents and BEAUTY…not just for their weight. I feel empowered!  I want to use this blog as a form of personal healing, a journal in which I can reflect on my personal issues in a very honest and transparent way, and also a mode to celebrate my growth. I want to be a part of an interactive, restorative and transformative community in which we can all share and heal. So all my friends who need some type healing won’t you share this journey with me? If so… let me know about something in your life that has been used to bring you shame and how you have reclaimed and celebrated it….Also, be on the look out for my first official post!!!



Comments

  1. Amy JoJune 12, 2014 at 11:34 AM

    Looking forward to future posts!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maya SJune 13, 2014 at 5:47 AM

    I'm here for this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJune 13, 2014 at 7:20 AM

    Never referred to you as the big girl - but I DID refer to you as the woman that give big hugs. They were the best.

    Can't wait to read!

    ReplyDelete

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