Hurt People, hurt people.

Though completely cliché this idiom is the MOST true, and it was never more apparent to me than when I faced an intervention. Ever experienced an intervention? Unfortunately, I have—from my best friends, nonetheless. I was told that if I were “smaller,” I would be “killin’ em.” Apparently I have all of the right features, my complexion and hair, for example, beautiful, but my size...well…it restricts my status as the ‘full package.’ Naïvely, back then, I agreed. I mean...I have been told throughout my life (by multiple sources) that I have good hair and skin. The problem that resulted from this completely unsolicited and quite frankly unnecessary and ineffective intervention was that my already low self-esteem rejected any positive messaging, and I instead internalized another level of body hate. However, my friends were not at fault; they were just trying to be helpful. They only reinforced the shallow, normative beauty standards to which they were also restricted. In fact, the conversation was  the result of their facebook insecurity—we were freshmen; our social status was reflected by the number of friends we had on facebook, but this number was remaining stagnant. Why? We all had so much to offer, the number of friends on our page should have reflected that. So hurt people do in fact hurt people. 

Honestly, with or without of this so-called intervention, my perception of self was skewed—as is many folks’, I’m learning—and not just regarding body image, but also physical ability, intellect, social status, etc.  My own capricious self worth impacts all aspects of my life. Over time I have learned to manage insecurity. I have two standard methods of dealing with it; I reject the aspect of insecurity (like my body disassociation) or—and this is what I am most ashamed of—I tend to project them onto my friends and loved ones (much like my friends did to me during their intervention.) Sometimes, as a means of avoidance, I draw attention to my own areas of insecurity on other folks. This hurtful practice is neither healthy nor sustainable. Through the use of this blog, I am hoping to transition towards a more healthy and therapeutic approach of exposure and resolve. I am hoping that by discussing areas of insecurity in this blog, I will overcome them and move forward. What do you all think? Any suggestions? How do you overcome areas of insecurity? Have you ever fallen the victim of projection? Ever been on the giving end?